Oh Pen, How Much I Love You
by Bane-Dane
Summary: It starts as Eiji's rivalry towards Gakuto with Fuji's help . Then it turns to wanting to see a psychiatrist to crack. Either way, hilarity is a given.


A/N: I actually got this idea from my brothers and my dad. I went to bed around nine one night because I was super tired. When I was about to get in my bed, I heard my youngest brother and dad belting out a song at the top of their lungs. The words weren't very clear so I asked them to sing it the next morning. After several days of story thinking, I came up with this. I couldn't think up a title so I used the song's title.Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis. Takeshi Konomi does. If I did own Prince of Tennis...GO KAIDOH!

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It all really started when Eiji found out that Gakuto (and Hyoutei) had been sent to see a psychiatrist. Now, it doesn't take a genius to figure out Gakuto and Eiji were rivals. So, upon hearing his about why his rival was sent to a psychiatrist, Eiji decided he would be sent to one way more times than Gakuto. A rather difficult feat had it not been for his best friend, Fuji Shuusuke. This also didn't take a genius to figure out that Fuji thought it would be fun to be sent to a psychiatrist. Even a caveman would know.

And so, Fuji and Eiji set out to be sent to Dr. Obvious's Psychiatric Clinic for the Trouble Minded. The poor man is going to have a migraine after seeing Fuji and Eiji.

Let us now peak in on their visits, shall we?

**Visit 1**

"Now, why are the two of you here?" Dr. Obvious asked the two tennis players.

"Aren't you going to ask us who our American idols are, nya?" Eiji asked, looking all cute and adorable in his Seigaku regulars uniform (if we were actually there), the two boys had been sent straight from tennis practice. Coach Ryuuzaki had made an appointment as they made their way there.

"No I'm not. I've learnt my lesson about Americans," Dr. Obvious shuddered at the memory of the last group therapy session he held.

"Why don't you just see a psychiatrist about your problem?" Fuji asked cracking his eyes open a little. Not much though.

"Yeah, maybe I should go see a psychiatrist," Dr. Obvious agreed almost….hypnotized. Oh, God. Fuji has hypnotizing powers. Run for your life if you don't want to finish the story!!!

"Hoi hoi! You're in luck! There's a psychiatric clinic right outside. You can go there!" Eiji suggested.

"Yes, I should. Thank you gentleman," Dr. Obvious left their little room and Eiji and Fuji proceeded to high five each other. (When did the two of them get hypnotizing powers?)

The two chatted happily until their psychiatrist returned red faced and ready to smack the nearest couple of idiots.

"That is not funny!"

"You're right," Fuji started.

"It's hilarious!" Eiji finished.

Dr. Obvious took his anger out on the nearest sofa, which happened to cost more then his bi-weekly paycheck, before calming the heck down.

"Now, why were the two of you sent here?" Dr. Obvious asked in a calm, professional way.

"Well I sent a message to a tribe of aliens to come and help me take over Hawaii while Eiji here distracted the British so he could steal their chocolate pudding," Fuji explained his so obvious lie.

"And did it work-tell me the truth!!" Dr. Obvious lost his temper as he almost fell for Fuji's lie.

"Do you have anger management problems, nya?" Eiji asked.

"Only when I'm with complete idiots," Dr Obvious sighed.

"Hm," Eiji and Fuji both put on a pair of glasses that made them look smart(er) and each brought out a notebook," Tell us more."

"Well, it all started when I was eight and my dad refused to buy me a pony and why am I telling you this?!" Dr. Obvious launched himself into an uncontrollable rage.

"Eiji?"

"Yeah, Fujiko?"

"I think we should leave."

"Me too,"

And the two boys ran from Dr. Obvious until they would be sent there next time.

**Visit 2**

When Dr. Obvious came in to see his last patient the next day he found two tennis players there.

"What are you two doing here again?" Dr. Obvious asked.

"We didn't give the aliens compensation for their help yesterday," Eiji explained this time.

"We also killed their queen and they want to kidnap us," Fuji added in.

"Really boys, why were you sent here?" Dr. Obvious asked, not falling for the aliens story.

"Well we wanted to play go fish," Eiji started.

"Well, that's not so bad. Why were you sent here if you were just playing go fish?" Dr. Obvious wondered.

"The swim team didn't like that we turned the swimming pool into an aquarium so we could really fish during go fish," Fuji smiled," That and the cafeteria had to order a two months supply of fish for tha aquarium we made."

Dr. Obvious then would have asked how they would have gotten a two months supply of dead fish to bite a worm, but he wasn't a nosy person. He was an extremely nosy person. Unfortunately, for some odd reason, Fuji and Eiji started clucking like chickens and, whenever he asked a question, Fuji would bark like a dog, and Eiji would start meowing like a cat.

Soon enough, the situation got way out of hand and Dr. Obvious had to call pet control. Only that made him look like a complete idiot when they arrived, and Fuji and Eiji were back to normal. Let just say that Dr. Obvious had a massive headache that night.

**Visit 3**

"Yo, what's up dog?"

"Oh God, not them again."

For the third day in a row, Fuji and Eiji were back at Dr. Obvious's. Only now, they were dressed as gangsters and trying to speak the lingo.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go and call my mommy," Dr. Obvious then proceeded to slam the door behind himself.

**

* * *

Visit 56**

"What is it now?" Dr. Obvious was dead tired after seeing the two Seigaku players. The man hadn't shaved in weeks, his hair wasn't combed, his suit wasn't pressed and neat, his tie was crooked, and he had bags under his eyes. He had put up with the two boys pretending to not be able to see, their conversion to Tachibanaism because it worked for Fudomine, their loss of their lucky charms (whatever that meant), their trying to eat any object that came into sight, their trying to convince him that Tenimyu was the best fandom ever, and so much more. Dr. Obvious was bound to crack any second.

"We wrote a song, nya, and no one seems to like it," Eiji said tearing up at the thought of no one liking his song.

"Let's hear it then."

The two boys then began to sing off key.

"Oh pen, how much I love you.  
Oh pen, how much I love you.  
Oh pen, sometimes you write in sparkly blue.  
Oh pen, how much I love you.  
Oh pen, sometimes you write in black, red, blue and green.  
Oh pen, how much I love you!"

The two then hit a high note that was almost unimaginable had in not been written in this fanfiction.

The two boys then looked over at Dr. Obvious for a reaction. He man's right eye was twitching and he was frozen in his seat.

"Eiji, I dare say we have made this man crack."

"Nya, I agree Fujiko."

"Do you want to rub it in Gakuto's face?"

"Heck yeah!"

The Seigaku boys then ran off to rub their awesomeness in Gakuto's face and get some ice cream. Eiji paid.


End file.
